"sorry but no. i'd beat your ass if you came up on me"

said the comment on one of my photos. after i deleted it, it stayed there seared in my mind. it brought up all of the fear that i have to suppress every day in order to get out of bed. i remembered how people think we as nonbinary transfeminine people are constantly masquerading as something we are not so that we can "corrupt" cis men & society more generally. as if our genders don't belong to us but instead belong to their fantasies and nightmares interchangeably. we are never allowed to just "be." we always are seen as having foul intentions, as being up to no good. and when we do experience violence (which is intense, relentless) there is no framework to understand and support us as victims because we are not women. how binary trans people themselves don't even often support us because our identities are too "complicated," or because "we shouldn't have been so visible." just feeling sad and hurt and lost and confused by a world that requires us to disappear ourselves in order to be safe.

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