i took this selfie before leaving the house today. this is before a man right outside my door looked at me and said "what the fuck is that!?" his friends began to follow and record me until i couldn't take it so i got into a taxi. in the car i looked at this selfie of me & i remember how powerful i felt when i took it. i remember how fun it was to get ready. i remember the delight of seeing my chest hair and my lipstick and my floral all together. most of all i remember feeling safe, feeling at peace. i have been thinking a lot recently about what selfies mean to me and why i am so moved by them. today i remembered in the car that what selfies allow me to do is to remember who i am, what i am fighting for, and what the world i want to create looks like. a selfie is an earnest invitation into the world i am making for myself. "WTF?" is the number one reaction i get leaving my house. and i feel like i finally am coming up with an answer. what you see is someone just trying to figure it out. someone desperately trying to remember what it means to prioritize my joy over your fear. what you see is someone trying my best to find meaning in a world that continues to think it knows what's best for me. what you see is someone is equally confident and equally scared, is someone is someone who needs your help to get free.
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