sending my love & rage to all of the protesters speaking out against trump's anti-trans tomfoolery. 

i have been getting a lot of messages from trans youth about how to keep going when there is so much state-sanctioned violence against us and how i push through. 

the truth is it was & continues to be devastating to be trans femme. whatever pride i have in myself is constantly challenged by routine harassment. 

i grew up in a small conservative town in texas where i didn't use the restroom once in middle school or high school because i was afraid of entering the men's room. i didn't yet know what i was, but i knew what i was not: one of them. 

to cope i become very disembodied & didn't let people touch me. most of all i recall an overwhelming sense of isolation & hopelessness. my body and mental health suffered tremendously because of it. 

these days i still get harassed in bathrooms every week -- & have to plan my days thinking about where and how i can change & pee safely. 

what i mean to say is that for many trans youth -- especially transfeminine people of color -- it doesn't get better. there is no magical end to the bullying, no safe space to pee let alone BE. 

but what i can say is that i have seen now how trans activists have & continue to resist for hundreds of years. & there is comfort in being connected to that struggle -- knowing that you are part of something greater than yourself. 

so i can't offer false promises, but what i can offer is my raised middle finger, my heart, my determination to fight as hard as i can for you and for us. 

you are part of an ancestral legacy of healers and warriors and dreamers have been punished for embodying the kind of world that is so urgent that people are afraid of their own desire for it. the person that you are and the work that you are doing is not just valid, it is important & powerful. i am so sorry that they are so jealous of your brilliance, your honesty, your courage. know that there are many people in the world who do not know you, but love you nonetheless, regardless of what you look like & what you have to do to survive.

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